Days to kill

I am exhausted. I have to do my chores and nowadays i have to do everything. things are getting bad to worse, and i am being treated like a maid around the house. the boys in the house (rashdan and adrian) got their 'sunat' last week and everything is a pain. i thought when they did that "thing" they are suppose to be good, or atleast nicer to me. but no. i cant believe i was expecting a 'change'. I even got smacked by my mum even though it was the boys' fault! things has been very tiring. i always had to fight with my mum. even if i chatted back ONCE to my mum she would say i am bad. but what is the deal with kakak, adan and adrian?. kakak always chatted back, she is always bossy, even bossier than me but i dont see my mum smacking her? sheesh! i know i am not suppose to chat back to my mum, but i hate when she always misunderstanding things and she wont let me explain it. i am always to blame for everything. i always had to be the one who people point at. the one who has to go upstairs, shut the door leaving a loud door shut. the one who listen to the ipod, on the bed, and crying. sometimes i wish i was the only child. i know its boring, but being boring is more fun than to blame. Oh and isn't it enough for me to have a punishment to get to look at my brothers naked around the house, and see "those" things?!
one word: disgusting

People are getting emo and emo nowadays. yes, we are human, and we tend to get sad. even i am sad right now, but when i am sad, i always go to my friends, and yeah chat maybe and talk about my problems or maybe sometimes i dont. but i really cant do it nowadays, they say they dont have the mood to talk or whatever. I guess i have to keep it here, where else. Let them figure it out by them selves. I dont mind being alone, because i am so good at it now, or even before. maybe being alone IS my thing. i want to be alone, but not forever. It would be nice if i can run away for awhile, because no one understands me or maybe even pretending to understand. I can even see in peoples' faces when they are pretending or not.

Love is really sickened me up. I dont feel anything now. weird. between me and him are over, and i see he is not moving, so i should get a move on. Now, i am a new brand. i dont want to be with anyone else, after my spm. yes. i repeat, after my spm. i dont have any feelings to anyone. yes. maybe my edward will come someday.

Speaking of Edward Cullen, there are maybe the next movie of twilight! how exiting! i cant wait! i love the part when Edward cullen says:
"i cant stand it to stay apart from you"
and
"you are my life now"
how i wish i was bella.
i trust in a soulmate. and i think it will come. someday. who knows.

So this is how it goes
Well I, I would have never known
And if it ends today
I'll still say that you shine brighter than anyone

Now I think we're taking this too far
Don't you know that it's not this hard?
Well it's not this hard
But if you take what's your's and I take mine
Must we go there?
Please not this time. No, not this time.

Well this is not your fault
But if I'm without you
Then I will feel so small
And if you have to go
Always know that you shine brighter than anyone does.

Now I think we're taking this too far
Don't you know that it's not this hard?
Well it's not this hard
But if you take what's your's and I take mine
Must we go there?
Please not this time. No, not this time.

If you run away now,
Will you come back around?
And if you ran away,
I'd still wave goodbye
Watching you shine bright.

Now I think we're taking this too far
Don't you know that it's not this hard?
Well it's not this hard
But if you take what's your's and I take mine
Must we go there?
Please not this time. No, not this time.

I'll wave goodbye
Watching you shine bright
(You shine bright, you shine bright)
I'll wave goodbye tonight

L