My thoughts you cant decode
It's pouring heavily outside. Here i am, at home listening to 'Kiss in the rain' which people called it Bella's Lullaby (yeah it was played by edward cullen in the movie twilight), eating my goreng pisang, alone. I was suppose to meet my friends over at Mcd's, but i cant go out. i have to stay home, look after the boys. shit. mind my language, but i am really stressed up. Everytime i wanted to go out with my friends, my mum always have to be busy. I hate it when i have to fight. i fought with her just now, she said she is really busy, and how selfish i am. i barely go out with my friends! then i shouted to her 'i barely go out! i always have to be the one to be your maid, be a babysitter and open the books!' i let go all of 'em. i was feeling relieved for a second. but then, she said 'if you really want to go out, go by yourself, go to your friends because they are more important than you, go and look for a new family, go and look for new parents'. At that point, i felt guilty. But, i barely go out. then, yeah. whatever, i was always the wrong one. so then i waited for my mum to leave the house. I left after she left. i went for a walk. it was about to rain, but who gives a damn. I didnt know where i was heading to. I left my brothers just like that. But i cant seem to remember them that time. i was too busy to cry and feel how stressed i am.
Then, here i go. starting the journey. i cried while i was walking. it was pretty scary, but i dont seem to care where i was, i was out in the cruel world. then, suddenly, there was this 'boy'. he seemed nice. he was good-looking i can say, wearing a grey hoodie, and he stopped and he asked 'kenapa menangis?', then i ignored. he said 'need a lift?' then i said. no, no thank you. he smiled and left. what a nice stranger :). after i calmed down my self, i decided to head home. and then, there was all kind of people i have to face in the rain. (it started to rain though). a car stopped, and asked me a ride. I am not a fool. i didnt answer the, i ignored them instead. they laughed. and just kindda drove away. it was pretty scary. but, atleast i got things out of my mind a bit :/
my birthday is a month away. sheesh, forget it.
i want my edward cullen for my birthday. haha, joke. but that will be awesome :B
L
