bored, alone..what not?

sometimes i feel so alone. i feel so sad. but sometimes i really need me time alone. in my situation right now is that i am alone, and i dont really have noone to talk to. even if i have friends, they wouldnt response that much. i would just have to fake my laughs just to get them in the mood. but, you know. if that makes them happy. i know that love will get in a way for somehow. and you'll eventually forget about you friends behind you. it will be like nothing with just you and a guy. but i dont have "the guy". and sometimes when i heard about my friends talking about boys, i dont know why i get pissed alot. but i cant show it to them. one, yes i am jealous. but i have noone to love right now. except of that baskin-robin guy, i wish i can make him mine. haha (get real). but hm, its okay. all i want to do is just focus on one lane, and hoping that there wouldnt be any distractions. i wish i can tell my friends how i feel, but i know that they would never want me to say that. instead of me being sad, its always the other way round. and i am the one who has to go after them. pft. whatever.

but other than that, i love the little card that was made by amariah. it was so sweet <3

yesterday was the parents evening where you know you have to bring your parents to school. and the teachers will tell your parents how we behaved and everything, bla bla bla. oh yeah, did i tell you that i failed my bm? no i didnt and yes i did. yeah, im terrible. well, the teacher is horrible as well, no that kind of horrible. shes fun, strict and she cursed alot. not that i dont like it. but ive never failed in my bm before. but, because of her markings, i did. and you know the systems. if you failed bm. you failed everything. so much for my hard work for getting 3A's huh? yeah. im so pissed. so enough about that. so yeah, in the morning, we were about to leave home. but the car wont start. so my mum said, just skip the school. so tak jd laaaa. so, is it a WOHOO? or, ohh maaaan. haha. i'll say between both. because i dont know why, for some reasons i want to listen to what the teachers are going to say about me. lol. bla bla bla. i hate zaki and iqbal. not that kind of hate. i hate them manually. like for instance, in education. they are so good in everything. im so jealous. i wish i can be smart like them. so it'll be easier for me to face spm.

i cannot wait for his birthday. its coming up, next week. though i havent talk to him for ages now. i reaallly do not know why. but...now..when i see him. i see a different person. not the one that i used to know. well...amariah knows more about him. she said so. so, i got nothing again.

i dont know really who am i close with right now. i am close with wawa and amariah at school but when i get home, its just me and my guitar..oh and books. thats just it. my life is completely blank right now. i dont know what i want, and i will never know what i really want. i wish i can have someone to hear my stories and act like its very important to them. sometimes i wish i can be important, and special...but. pftt. naah. blank. pale.....

kay, till then.
boring lisa